adBlockCheck

Recent News

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
End Of Section
  • More News

General Electric's Aggressive Tax Strategy

Americans were outraged when it came to light recently that multinational corporation General Electric paid no taxes for 2010. Here are some of the ways GE avoided the tax man:

  • Saved all receipts from aggressive lobbying efforts
  • Purchased TurboTax Corporate Max Edition
  • Wrote off bankruptcy of sister company Abstract Electric
  • Brought a few hundred million good things to life; claimed them as dependents
  • Somehow managed to locate a loophole in the transparent, ironclad U.S. tax code
  • Claimed entire NBC prime-time lineup as a loss
  • Claimed cash as a spouse, earned marriage tax credit
  • God hates us

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close