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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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General Electric's Aggressive Tax Strategy

Americans were outraged when it came to light recently that multinational corporation General Electric paid no taxes for 2010. Here are some of the ways GE avoided the tax man:

  • Saved all receipts from aggressive lobbying efforts
  • Purchased TurboTax Corporate Max Edition
  • Wrote off bankruptcy of sister company Abstract Electric
  • Brought a few hundred million good things to life; claimed them as dependents
  • Somehow managed to locate a loophole in the transparent, ironclad U.S. tax code
  • Claimed entire NBC prime-time lineup as a loss
  • Claimed cash as a spouse, earned marriage tax credit
  • God hates us
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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

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