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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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General Electric's Aggressive Tax Strategy

Americans were outraged when it came to light recently that multinational corporation General Electric paid no taxes for 2010. Here are some of the ways GE avoided the tax man:

  • Saved all receipts from aggressive lobbying efforts
  • Purchased TurboTax Corporate Max Edition
  • Wrote off bankruptcy of sister company Abstract Electric
  • Brought a few hundred million good things to life; claimed them as dependents
  • Somehow managed to locate a loophole in the transparent, ironclad U.S. tax code
  • Claimed entire NBC prime-time lineup as a loss
  • Claimed cash as a spouse, earned marriage tax credit
  • God hates us

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