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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Getting To Know New Nets Owner Mikhail Prokhorov

Since buying the New Jersey Nets, Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov has become a media fascination. Onion Sports takes a closer look at the man:

  • Bought Nets after being impressed by Jayson Williams' killing ability
  • Feels that owning an NBA basketball team is good for his cover
  • We're just going to go ahead and guess that he has a yacht you could land a helicopter on
  • Sam Cassell and Mikhail Prokhorov have never been seen in the same place at the same time
  • May or may not be able to help LeBron James locate his missing family, but what can Mr. James do for him?
  • Already feels right at home in corrupt New Jersey hellhole
  • "You like ride in tank? We go for ride in tank! The girls, they also come! Is make fun, yes? Ha!"
  • Also owns controlling interest in 80 percent of Russia's nuclear arsenal
  • Just checked on that yacht and helicopter thing, and sure enough, we called it
  • Will have no problem dealing with the sports press, as he has had journalists burned alive in their cars before

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