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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Getting To Know New Nets Owner Mikhail Prokhorov

Since buying the New Jersey Nets, Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov has become a media fascination. Onion Sports takes a closer look at the man:

  • Bought Nets after being impressed by Jayson Williams' killing ability
  • Feels that owning an NBA basketball team is good for his cover
  • We're just going to go ahead and guess that he has a yacht you could land a helicopter on
  • Sam Cassell and Mikhail Prokhorov have never been seen in the same place at the same time
  • May or may not be able to help LeBron James locate his missing family, but what can Mr. James do for him?
  • Already feels right at home in corrupt New Jersey hellhole
  • "You like ride in tank? We go for ride in tank! The girls, they also come! Is make fun, yes? Ha!"
  • Also owns controlling interest in 80 percent of Russia's nuclear arsenal
  • Just checked on that yacht and helicopter thing, and sure enough, we called it
  • Will have no problem dealing with the sports press, as he has had journalists burned alive in their cars before
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