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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Girl Scouts Turns 100

Juliette Gordon Low started the Girl Scouts of America in Savannah, GA on Mar. 12, 1912. Here are some highlights from the organization's century of providing activities and education:

  • 1918: Thousands of merit badges are awarded posthumously during the Spanish flu pandemic
  • 1925: The first females are admitted to this formerly all-male group reserved for the girliest members of the Boy Scouts
  • 1934: Rumblings of Ms. Persimmon's affections for Ms. Cartwright cause quite the stir
  • 1944: Doing their part for the war effort, Girl Scouts build 156 P-51 Mustang fighters
  • 1967: Yeast infections plummet when the organization begins teaching the front-to-back wipe method
  • 1968: In tumultuous times, Girl Scouts are dispatched to the South to pick up race-riot litter off Louisville, KY streets
  • 1984: The Girl Scouts' youngest membership group, Daisies, is created to introduce girls as young as 5 years old to the valuable life skill of leveraging their cute outward appearances to sell goods and get ahead
  • 1994: The entire 3-million-member Girl Scout organization stays up all night talking about Jonathan Taylor Thomas
  • 2011: Scout Mindy Johns wanders into the wilderness and returns with vision for new Savannah Smiles cookie

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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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