Girl Scouts Turns 100

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Vol 48 Issue 11

Still Some Nutella Left In Jar, Reports Depression

TIGARD, OR—Citing the fact that having another spoonful or two wasn't going to make much of a difference at this point anyway, a crippling bout of clinical depression reported Tuesday there was definitely still some Nutella left in that jar. 

Children's Stair Injuries Down Nearly 12%

A study from Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, OH reports that, while a child is hospitalized every six minutes with a stair-related injury, the number of incidences has fallen to 11.6 percent since 1999.

In Over Your Head

We're talking $1,310 a month for the next 30 years of your life—that's until 2042 and doesn't even begin to include property taxes.
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Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Healthy Eating

Girl Scouts Turns 100

Juliette Gordon Low started the Girl Scouts of America in Savannah, GA on Mar. 12, 1912. Here are some highlights from the organization's century of providing activities and education:

  • 1918: Thousands of merit badges are awarded posthumously during the Spanish flu pandemic
  • 1925: The first females are admitted to this formerly all-male group reserved for the girliest members of the Boy Scouts
  • 1934: Rumblings of Ms. Persimmon's affections for Ms. Cartwright cause quite the stir
  • 1944: Doing their part for the war effort, Girl Scouts build 156 P-51 Mustang fighters
  • 1967: Yeast infections plummet when the organization begins teaching the front-to-back wipe method
  • 1968: In tumultuous times, Girl Scouts are dispatched to the South to pick up race-riot litter off Louisville, KY streets
  • 1984: The Girl Scouts' youngest membership group, Daisies, is created to introduce girls as young as 5 years old to the valuable life skill of leveraging their cute outward appearances to sell goods and get ahead
  • 1994: The entire 3-million-member Girl Scout organization stays up all night talking about Jonathan Taylor Thomas
  • 2011: Scout Mindy Johns wanders into the wilderness and returns with vision for new Savannah Smiles cookie
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