adBlockCheck

Recent News

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
End Of Section
  • More News

Girl Scouts Turns 100

Juliette Gordon Low started the Girl Scouts of America in Savannah, GA on Mar. 12, 1912. Here are some highlights from the organization's century of providing activities and education:

  • 1918: Thousands of merit badges are awarded posthumously during the Spanish flu pandemic
  • 1925: The first females are admitted to this formerly all-male group reserved for the girliest members of the Boy Scouts
  • 1934: Rumblings of Ms. Persimmon's affections for Ms. Cartwright cause quite the stir
  • 1944: Doing their part for the war effort, Girl Scouts build 156 P-51 Mustang fighters
  • 1967: Yeast infections plummet when the organization begins teaching the front-to-back wipe method
  • 1968: In tumultuous times, Girl Scouts are dispatched to the South to pick up race-riot litter off Louisville, KY streets
  • 1984: The Girl Scouts' youngest membership group, Daisies, is created to introduce girls as young as 5 years old to the valuable life skill of leveraging their cute outward appearances to sell goods and get ahead
  • 1994: The entire 3-million-member Girl Scout organization stays up all night talking about Jonathan Taylor Thomas
  • 2011: Scout Mindy Johns wanders into the wilderness and returns with vision for new Savannah Smiles cookie

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close