God to Use Powers for Evil

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Vol 29 Issue 05

'It's Raining Men!'

ANNAPOLIS, MD— The women of the Acme-Temps office pool in West Annapolis were surprised and thrilled yesterday when hundreds of handsome, well-muscled young men poured from the heavens as the result of a horrendous midair collision between two Army aircra...

Crazy Old-Timer Wants to Create 'Master Race'

DUBUQUE, IA—Chalk it up to eccentricity, old age or just plain senility, but area nursing home resident Adolf Hitler is planning to create a “master race” of Indo-European Caucasians and eradicate entire races of inferior people!At the ripe old age of 106...

Area Freak Hides In Cave

Long-missing Bauton resident Richard Milk, a former potter turned freak, returned late Thursday night to stock up on supplies.

Clinton Tagged by Local Gang

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an incident under heavy investigation by Secret Service officials, President Clinton was “tagged” late yesterday afternoon, spray-painted across the chest by a member of the E.
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