Golf's More Obscure Rules

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Vol 46 Issue 33

NFL Punters Lobby Congress For More Fakes

WASHINGTON—High-ranking NFL punters met with members of Congress Tuesday to lobby for legislation that would significantly increase the number of fake punts across the league.

U.S. Call Centers Cost Same As India

According to the head of the largest call center outsourcing firm in the country, the poor job market has made the cost of hiring a call center worker in the United States the same as hiring one in India.

Mysterious Crate Arrives From London

DOCKSIDE, NEW ENGLAND—Shipman and stevedore alike confirmed that the crate is unpleasantly cold to the touch, and none reportedly wished to remain in its presence for long.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Spring

Comfort

  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Golf's More Obscure Rules

When Dustin Johnson grounded his club at Whistling Straits, he unknowingly took a two-stroke penalty and brought some of golf's unusual regulations into the spotlight.

  • If a player tees off from more than one club length behind the tee area, the player receives a one-stroke penalty and has to forfeit his car to the state
  • A three-shot penalty will be issued to anyone caught enjoying themselves
  • A ball at rest should not be disturbed, as it is sleeping
  • Players must finally give up search for ball after 72 hours
  • If a player is caught beating his wife or kids with his golf clubs, he takes a two-stroke penalty
  • Partners may share clubs, but not during the same swing
  • Your little sister gets to pick the red ball if you got to play with the red ball last time
  • Putter may be used like a pool cue to crack up other golfers only once per round; after that the joke gets old and the player should come up with something else
  • Players will be disqualified for using full-sized pencil on scorecard
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