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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Goodell's Toughest Rulings

The frequency and severity of his punishments have earned NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a reputation as a strict disciplinarian. We look at some of the most notable.

  • Punished the Patriots for the Spygate scandal with fines, lost draft picks, and two mandated humiliating Super Bowl losses to Eli Manning
  • Poisoned Sean Payton and hid the antidote in a copy of the NFL rulebook to ensure future compliance
  • Handed down a posthumous lifetime ban to Junior Seau for violating the league's firearms policy
  • Randomly fined the Colts $10,000,000 to teach them a lesson about the cruel unpredictability of fate
  • Amid growing public outcry and criticism, fined Bears WR Earl Bennett and vowed to rid football of colored shoes
  • Suspended himself without pay for a day after eating a slice of chocolate cake that was sinfully delicious
  • Has suspended several players for steroid abuse, but this isn't baseball, so who cares

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