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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Goodell's Toughest Rulings

The frequency and severity of his punishments have earned NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a reputation as a strict disciplinarian. We look at some of the most notable.

  • Punished the Patriots for the Spygate scandal with fines, lost draft picks, and two mandated humiliating Super Bowl losses to Eli Manning
  • Poisoned Sean Payton and hid the antidote in a copy of the NFL rulebook to ensure future compliance
  • Handed down a posthumous lifetime ban to Junior Seau for violating the league's firearms policy
  • Randomly fined the Colts $10,000,000 to teach them a lesson about the cruel unpredictability of fate
  • Amid growing public outcry and criticism, fined Bears WR Earl Bennett and vowed to rid football of colored shoes
  • Suspended himself without pay for a day after eating a slice of chocolate cake that was sinfully delicious
  • Has suspended several players for steroid abuse, but this isn't baseball, so who cares

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