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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.
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Grand Theft Auto IV Hits Stores

The latest installment of Rockstar Games' popular Grand Theft Auto franchise hit stores this week. What are some of the new features?

Special cheat code allows players to experience legal consequences of their actions

One of the game's sponsors is Jergens, so your character suffers from dry skin and must remember to always keep his hands moist

Every other mission is to kill a congressman who condemned the game's three previous versions

After 10 hours of continuous game play, a subliminal message flashes on the screen telling you to try playing the game in real life

You have the choice to stay in Liberty City or drive to the suburbs of New Jersey, where you can earn a degree or learn a trade

Though it doesn't affect the game at all, your character is severely afraid of spiders

Elfin magic users now have access to Potion Shoppe

You can steal cars

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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

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