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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Great Comebacks From Injury

Tiger Woods recently returned from knee surgery and resumed his domination of golf by beating Sean O'Hair at the Arnold Palmer Invitational. Here are some other injured athletes who have refused to lay down and die:

Willis Reed: Many attribute the Knicks' Game 7 win over the Lakers in 1970 to the distracting ripping sounds made by Reed's thigh muscle as it slowly tore in half from top to bottom

Michael Jordan: In the famous "Flu Game" of the 1997 finals, an ailing Jordan was able to score 38 points because no one on the Jazz wanted an NBA title enough to risk catching the flu

Kirk Gibson: In his only at bat of the 1988 World Series, Gibson won Game 1 for the Dodgers despite being no more than a quivering blob of boneless flesh

Mark Prior: After missing the first three months of the 2006 season with a strained shoulder, Prior was able to fight back to the majors and strain his left oblique hard enough to miss the rest of the season

Dan Marino: In 1993, Marino tore his Achilles tendon and came back the next year to play one of his best seasons statistically and once more not win a Super Bowl

Takeru Kobayashi: Once overcame an acute case of nausea to eat 58 bratwurst

Lance Armstrong: Armstrong not only came back from the loss of a testicle to win seven Tours de France, but actually turned the condition to his advantage in the arena of being able to enjoy Sheryl Crow albums

Joe Theismann: Just one year after a Lawrence Taylor hit gave him a compound leg fracture, Theismann proved his doubters and naysayers wrong by successfully putting on a pair of pants

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