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Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Great Comebacks From Injury

Tiger Woods recently returned from knee surgery and resumed his domination of golf by beating Sean O'Hair at the Arnold Palmer Invitational. Here are some other injured athletes who have refused to lay down and die:

Willis Reed: Many attribute the Knicks' Game 7 win over the Lakers in 1970 to the distracting ripping sounds made by Reed's thigh muscle as it slowly tore in half from top to bottom

Michael Jordan: In the famous "Flu Game" of the 1997 finals, an ailing Jordan was able to score 38 points because no one on the Jazz wanted an NBA title enough to risk catching the flu

Kirk Gibson: In his only at bat of the 1988 World Series, Gibson won Game 1 for the Dodgers despite being no more than a quivering blob of boneless flesh

Mark Prior: After missing the first three months of the 2006 season with a strained shoulder, Prior was able to fight back to the majors and strain his left oblique hard enough to miss the rest of the season

Dan Marino: In 1993, Marino tore his Achilles tendon and came back the next year to play one of his best seasons statistically and once more not win a Super Bowl

Takeru Kobayashi: Once overcame an acute case of nausea to eat 58 bratwurst

Lance Armstrong: Armstrong not only came back from the loss of a testicle to win seven Tours de France, but actually turned the condition to his advantage in the arena of being able to enjoy Sheryl Crow albums

Joe Theismann: Just one year after a Lawrence Taylor hit gave him a compound leg fracture, Theismann proved his doubters and naysayers wrong by successfully putting on a pair of pants

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