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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Great Father-Son Moments In Sports

Sports fans were deeply moved by Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s Father's Day victory in the NASCAR LifeLock 400. Onion Sports takes the opportunity to remember other great moments between men and their boys:

1988: For the first time in what is now a weekly tradition, Cecil Fielder takes his 4-year-old son Prince out for ribs at a local Damon's Bar and Grill

1989: Mike Tyson finally reconnects with his father and shows him how hard he's worked over the years by throwing a haymaker into the man's right temple

1991: While playing for the same team, Ken Griffey Jr. and Ken Griffey Sr. decide to pull their hamstrings together

1992: Though it seems innocuous at the time, a Kenny Lofton at-bat against Nolan Ryan marks the first time the father-son combination face each other

1993: Archie Manning drives his youngest son Eli to be the best by hugging Peyton over and over, ignoring Eli's existence

1994: On a cool San Francisco evening, Bobby and Barry Bonds spend hours catching fly balls and taking swings and then cap it off with a big, old-fashioned shot of steroids

1999: Muhammad Ali attends his son Laila's first boxing match

2001: Formula One world champion, Champ Car series winner, Indianapolis 500 winner, and Daytona 500 winner Mario Andretti beams with pride as his son, Michael Andretti, finally learns to drive stick without stalling his IndyCar

2008: Dan Marino proudly watches as his son Joey follows in his footsteps by never winning a Super Bowl

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