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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Great Home Run Derby Moments

The Home Run Derby has become almost as compelling as the All-Star game itself. We look back on how this came to be so.

  • 1985: MLB Commissioner Peter Ueberroth bets a drinking buddy he can get idiot fans to pay to see eight guys take batting practice for a couple hours
  • 1991: Cal Ripken, Jr. slugs a then-record 12 home runs in one round to capture the…wait. Oh, God, Cal couldn't have done steroids, too, could he have?
  • 1996: Fan Richard McCarthy catches every home run hit into stands
  • 1999: Mark McGwire hits a ball through the Green Monster
  • 2003: Albert Pujols does a 360 while jumping over a car, hits the pitch through his legs, and then swish: nothing but bleachers
  • 2005: Bobby Abreu breaks the record with 41 utterances of the word “home run” during his post-Derby interview
  • 2007: Unable to pace himself, Alex Rios wastes all of his home runs in one swing, blasting a 8,653-foot bomb

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