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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Great Moments In Electric Football History

Norman Sas, the inventor of Electric Football, has passed away at 87, leaving behind a legacy of buzzing, spinning, nostalgic football simulation. Onion Sports looks at the greatest milestones in the game he created

  • 1948: Sas designs the frustratingly shaky and uncontrolled movements of Electric Football players to provide the perfect foreshadowing of post-NFL life for most actual players
  • 1958: 14-year-old Jason Goldberg is the first to discover that it feels good to rub up against the field while it's vibrating, leading to a revolution in game strategy
  • 1968: Three different Electric Football players shatter the record for total passes completed in a single game, with two
  • 1977: A skateboarding Snoopy becomes the first McDonald's toy to start for an Electric Football team
  • 1981: Grandma plays for five minutes
  • 1987: First confirmed intentional touchdown
  • 2011: Brian Callahan, 12, finds his dad’s Electric Football game in the attic and spends three hours trying to get the confusing, chaotic old hunk of junk to work correctly before realizing it's actually in mint condition and functioning perfectly
  • 1949-2012: Randomly moving plastic toy football players teach millions of children a valuable lesson about the futility of trying to control one's fate in a constantly shifting universe
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