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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Great Moments In Pre-Super Bowl Hype

The two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl have devolved into a festival of hype as reporters cast about for any story they can find. Some of the most notable:

1972: Analysts spend several days speculating about what would happen if the Cowboys' Tom Landry coached the entire Super Bowl without his hat

1977: Free chips and salsa

1984: The entire week before Super Bowl XVIII is dedicated to the roman numeral "V," which celebrates its last appearance in the big game for six years

1995: John Madden is shot out of a cannon each day until the Super Bowl arrives

1999: Chris Berman sets a record by mentioning the Super Bowl 12 times in one sentence

2003: Festivities are cut short when Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden's face suddenly contorts into a spastic scowl, but alert emergency workers manage to rush to his side and cut away his blood-restricting visor

2006: After telling his story for the millionth time, Jerome Bettis finally breaks down and admits both that he's not from Detroit, and that he actually won a couple of Super Bowls back in the '90s that he just never told anyone about

2009: The media desperately tries to bill Super Bowl XLIII as Ken Whisenhunt going up against the team that killed his wife and children

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