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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.
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Great Moments In The Histories Of The Steelers and Packers

They are two of the league's premier franchises and have given football some of its most memorable moments. We look at some of the best.

STEELERS

  • 1940: The Steelers become the first NFL team to officially like black people
  • 1972: In what will become known as the "Immaculate Reception," Franco Harris grabs the ball by his fingertips just as it's about to hit the ground, runs it into the end zone, and gives birth to the second coming of Christ
  • 1976: Lynn Swann makes a diving catch in Super Bowl X that's just a little too hard to describe right here
  • 1997: Jerome Bettis barrels through the Bengals' defensive line for a 6-yard gain

PACKERS

  • 1919: The Packers shatter the previous professional football record by playing two consecutive games
  • 1967: Packers win the Ice Bowl after QB Bart Starr becomes the last player on the field not to freeze to death
  • 1968: Vince Lombardi instills in his players the idea to carry him off the field if they win the Super Bowl
  • 2010: Everything shitty that happened to Brett Favre

More from this section

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

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