Great Players' Worst Games

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Vol 47 Issue 40

Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died

BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his fucking dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Great Players' Worst Games

Even the great ones have off days, as Tom Brady found out against the Bills. Onion Sports lists the worst games of the very best.

  • Michael Jordan: Baseball
  • Tom Brady: Tried to play through a nasty virus that makes your arm throw a bunch of interceptions
  • Arnold Palmer: Took him a whole 284 shots to get his first Masters win
  • Warren Moon: Fumbled a record five times in one game, a performance so bad the Houston Oilers don't even exist anymore
  • Willis Reed: In biggest game of his life, only scored two baskets, then went ahead and acted like he did something special anyway
  • Brett Favre: That playoff game where he threw a game-ending interception
  • Muhammad Ali: During the famous Rumble in the Jungle, Ali seemed to let George Foreman beat the living hell out of him for some reason
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