Greatest Barrier Breakers In Sports

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Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.
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Greatest Barrier Breakers In Sports

With Missouri defensive end Michael Sam becoming the first openly gay NFL prospect this week, Onion Sports examines athletes who have broken down the biggest barriers in sports.

  • Jackie Robinson: Became the first Dodger second baseman to win the MVP award in 1949
  • Kate Barber: In 1987, she became the NBA’s first female cheerleader
  • Alex Rodriguez: The first and only MLB player to take steroids
  • Jason Collins: Showed that a gay man could appear in the news cycle for a few days before never being heard from again
  • Flying Ebony: By winning the 1925 Kentucky Derby, at last prevailed against the rampant discrimination that has historically faced black horses
  • Mike Trout: With his upcoming announcement on February 17, the Los Angeles Angels star will become a major trailblazer for gay players in not only Major League Baseball, but all American sports leagues
  • Pete Carroll: Bravely defied narrow-minded regulations saying a coach can’t offer gifts to recruiting prospects
  • Danica Patrick: TBD
  • James Naismith: In 1891, became the first lifeform on earth to play basketball since the forgotten Tô-Uktül civilization in 26 million B.C.
  • Renee Richards: Made huge strides in transsexual rights after winning the right to play tennis as a woman, ultimately inspiring thousands of other men to have sexual reassignment surgery in order to gain an unfair advantage just as critics had predicted
  • Metta World Peace: Broke down barrier separating players from fans in order to punch fan


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