adBlockCheck

Greatest-Ever Olympic Moments

Top Headlines

Sports

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Greatest-Ever Olympic Moments

With the opening of the XXIX Summer Olympiad in Beijing, Onion Sports looks back on moments from the past that passed forever into legend:

490 B.C.: Pheidippides completes the first-ever marathon and incites centuries of Olympic challengers when he says "Beat that" as he drops dead on the ground

1936: Jessie Owens wins four gold medals at Hitler's Berlin Olympics, crediting his fantastic performance to something deep inside telling him to run like hell

1960: Ethiopian Abebe Bikila manages to win a gold in the marathon despite being barefoot, showing up a half-hour late, and having never run before in his life

1968: Though silver medalist Peter Norman sympathizes with Tommie Smith and John Carlos, he knows he'd look like an idiot if he joined in their black power salute

1972: Assassinations aside, not a bad Olympics

1984: Mary Lou Retton performs her entire gymnastics routine while on the cover of a box of Wheaties

1988: The Seoul Olympic opening ceremonies are quickly recognized as the best in history when they end in under 20 minutes

1992: When his hamstring snaps halfway through the 400 meter semifinal, Derek Redmond is helped across the finish line by his father, a majestic human image which, if you don't weep every time you see it, means you're a heartless asshole who should just die right now for all you're worth

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close