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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Greatest Masters Moments Of All Time

With the 2013 Masters underway, Onion Sports examines the most impressive feats in the history of the prestigious golf tournament.

  • 1934: Horton Smith becomes the first white man to win the prestigious golf tournament
  • 1960: Needing to birdie the final two holes to overtake the leader, Arnold Palmer succeeds in his quest to ensure no one will ever remember the name Ken Venturi
  • 1971: Charles Coody becomes the worst golfer ever to win the Masters, a record that stands to this day
  • 1986: “Quiet Please” sign holder Nick Potter keeps a raucous crowd at bay long enough for Nick Faldo to two-putt for par
  • 1988: CBS announcer Jim Nantz famously remarks that he would rather be watching any sport besides golf
  • 1996: Following a massive collapse that lost him the tournament title, Greg Norman correctly stated, “This is the only thing I’m ever going to be known for, isn’t it?”
  • 1999: John Daly breaks an Augusta National record by smoking an entire carton of cigarettes on the back nine
  • 2000: Sergio Garcia winds up and fucking hammers the ball, like, 400 yards
  • 2004: After years of failed attempts, Phil Mickelson finally proves that anything is possible if you have strong corporate sponsorships and close-to-unlimited chances
  • 2005: Tiger Woods’ chip shot at 16 lingers on the lip for eight minutes before he reluctantly taps in for par
  • 2012: A guy named Bubba wins
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