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Teacher Who Learns More From Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired

Explaining that her statements indicated a failure to understand and implement the district’s goal of providing a comprehensive education to all children, Southwest High School officials reportedly fired ninth-grade history teacher Jennifer Steenman today after she was heard saying she learns more from her students than they do from her. Full article.

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Greatest Moments In Stanley Cup Finals History

With the Stanley Cup Finals underway, Onion Sports examines highlights from the 120-year-old NHL championship series.

  • 1893: A combined 458 spectators turn out to witness the Stanley Cup Finals in its first year, a record that stands to this day
  • 1950: The Red Wings defeat the Rangers in a Game 7 double-overtime thriller, disappointing hockey fans who resent wealthy Detroit spending lavishly on players unattainable by teams in smaller, poorer markets like New York City
  • 1970: After scoring the game-winning goal in the deciding game of the Stanley Cup, Boston Bruins defenseman Bobby Orr frustrates his competitors and teammates alike by forcing them to repeatedly pose for a perfect photo to commemorate the event
  • 1981: Though outscored 4-3 by the Flyers in Game 7, the Oilers take the game and the Cup in a controversial split decision from the judges
  • 1992: The Penguins win and leading goal scorer Mario Lemieux is crowned Lord Stanley for a second consecutive year
  • 1994: Suffering from a 54-year Stanley Cup drought, the Rangers become the first team in New York sports history to be somewhat palatable championship winners
  • 2001: After a 21-year career and over 1,800 games in the NHL, Ray Bourque finally lifts the Stanley Cup trophy for the first time and suddenly realizes he pretty much wasted his entire life
  • 2008: First televised Stanley Cup Finals
  • 2011: The Boston Bruins take off their helmets after their Game 7 win to reveal that they are all beautiful blonde women, forever ensuring gender equality in hockey

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