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Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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Greatest Moments Of Tony La Russa's Career

After winning his third World Series, Cardinals manager Tony La Russa has announced his retirement. We look back on a career that encompassed the steroid era, the moneyball craze, and a lot of irascibility.

  • 1991: Tony La Russa Baseball video game receives critical acclaim for its authentic simulation of standing in a dugout while displaying no emotion
  • 1992: Master strategist La Russa sets an MLB record by having nine consecutive A’s pitchers throw only one pitch before taking them out
  • 1995: Achieves enough confidence as a manager to no longer feel stupid wearing a full baseball uniform and a jacket at the same time
  • 1998: Aids Mark McGwire's run to 62 homers by looking other way while force-feeding him andro supplements
  • 2005: In proudest moment of his life, somehow avoids subpoena from Congress during steroid investigation
  • 2006: The Cardinals drastically improve once La Russa’s doctors tell him he’s too old to run onto the field between every pitch and physically adjust everyone’s position
  • 2007: Gets arrested for DUI to show players he's still cool and relatable
  • 2008: Stays up all night laughing maniacally after devising a batting lineup of all pitchers

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