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Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Greatest Regular Seasons In Sports

With the Packers enjoying a spectacular 2011 run, Onion Sports looks at some of the most remarkable regular seasons in sporting history:

  • 1880 Chicago White Stockings: Compiled the best regular-season winning percentage in major-league history, which is especially remarkable when you consider baseball bats weren’t invented until 1890
  • 1976 Indiana Basketball: Upon securing an undefeated regular season, head coach Bobby Knight raised both arms, prompting his entire team to flinch and cower in fear
  • 1993 Davey Allison: Led the Winston Cup Series in points for much of the season and only died once
  • 1999 D.C. United: High-octane striking attack led team to score league-record three goals over the course of the season
  • 2004 Nashville Predators: Hockey season completely canceled due to lockout
  • 2003-04 Atlanta Hawks: Only went 28-54, but did manage to trade away Rasheed Wallace
  • 2007 New England Patriots: As a reward for finishing the regular season 16-0, Bill Belichick let his players have the Super Bowl off
  • 49 College Football Teams Since 1970: Achieved the hallowed, prestigious status of an undefeated college football season. Truly remarkable

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