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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.
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Greatest Regular Seasons In Sports

With the Packers enjoying a spectacular 2011 run, Onion Sports looks at some of the most remarkable regular seasons in sporting history:

  • 1880 Chicago White Stockings: Compiled the best regular-season winning percentage in major-league history, which is especially remarkable when you consider baseball bats weren’t invented until 1890
  • 1976 Indiana Basketball: Upon securing an undefeated regular season, head coach Bobby Knight raised both arms, prompting his entire team to flinch and cower in fear
  • 1993 Davey Allison: Led the Winston Cup Series in points for much of the season and only died once
  • 1999 D.C. United: High-octane striking attack led team to score league-record three goals over the course of the season
  • 2004 Nashville Predators: Hockey season completely canceled due to lockout
  • 2003-04 Atlanta Hawks: Only went 28-54, but did manage to trade away Rasheed Wallace
  • 2007 New England Patriots: As a reward for finishing the regular season 16-0, Bill Belichick let his players have the Super Bowl off
  • 49 College Football Teams Since 1970: Achieved the hallowed, prestigious status of an undefeated college football season. Truly remarkable

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