Greatest Team Anthems

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Vol 48 Issue 22

Ellen Cooper

Account manager Ellen Cooper only sighed audibly four times during last Tuesday's staff meeting.

Deadliest Catch: Fish Perspective

Discovery 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST Tonight, teams of fish equipped with special underwater cameras attempt to avoid the fishermen’s nets, but then they just swim away with all the cameras and footage.

Sad Sack Bullied By Area Goose

ARLINGTON, MA—According to onlookers in Wright Park, local sad sack Morgan Jennings was intimidated, bullied, and sent fleeing for safety by a Canada goose today while walking beside the park's namesake pond. Sources said the 36-year-old benefits of...

Dinner For One

Food 10:00 p.m. EST/9:00 p.m. CST Four days after Kaitlin's decision to call off the engagement, host Adam Viscardi gazes vacantly into the camera while absentmindedly eating half a box of pancake mix.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Greatest Team Anthems

The Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne just unveiled "Thunder Up," a psyche-up song calculated to spur the Oklahoma City Thunder to victory. As we see here, it's hardly the first time a team has had its own anthem.

  • The 1985 Bears classic "Super Bowl Shuffle" craftily convinced opponents the team wasn't there to "start no trouble"; the Bears would then catch them completely off guard by trying to win games
  • The Captain & Tennille classic "Do That To Me One More Time" was the Bulls' anthem during their second three-peat and was sung completely faithful to the original by Scottie Pippen to Michael Jordan
  • “Chopsticks,” the anthem of the Jaguars' 1996 playoff run, was played by a novice on a piano that is the only musical instrument in the entire city of Jacksonville
  • Legend has it that an anonymous fan penned "That Casserole The Dear Leader Made Was Delicious And Had Very Few Grains Of Sand In It," the compulsory rally cry of North Korean Olympians
  • Miami resident Gloria Estefan celebrated the Florida Marlins' 1997 World Series run with the anthem "What Are The Florida Marlins?"
  • At Eli Manning’s request, the New York Giants have come running out of the tunnel to the nursery rhyme “Hot Cross Buns” for six years
  • Originally meant as a public service announcement at Philadelphia’s Veterans Stadium, local legend Patti LaBelle’s soulful ballad “Empty Your Water Bottles Before You Toss Them, Please” is now played at Eagles games during player warm-ups, after the first offensive series, at halftime, at the start of the fourth quarter, and on a loop postgame
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