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Greenlit Sports Movies Of 2009

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Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-Expression

While declaring that the musical instrument was by no means ideally suited to the task, a report released by the National Endowment for the Arts Thursday concluded that the saxophone nevertheless remains a fairly decent vehicle for expressing one’s ...

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Greenlit Sports Movies Of 2009

With the recent success of a number of sports movies, Hollywood is once again prepared to cash in at the box office. Here are the latest projects to begin production:

  • Norm Gaby, Dorm Baby: USC freshman Dave Gaby has no choice but to live in the dorms with his 1-year-old son, Norm, and boy is he surprised when Norm becomes the Trojans' new kicker and reason for their championship dreams
  • Untitled "Underdog Overcomes All Odds" project: Release date and sport TBD
  • Rolling Pins: Max and Charles are the best video-game bowlers of all time, but what happens when they get sucked into the game?
  • Talmudders: Jonah Hill, a foul-mouthed coach of a Hebrew school's pee-wee football team, teaches the group of overweight, wimpy, and neurotic players to swear
  • Tar: Hollywood jazzes up the real-life story of the George Brett pine-tar game by having Brett boil Yankees manager Billy Martin in a boiling vat of tar
  • Dead Coach: After Portland Trailblazers coach Buster McManus has a fatal heart attack in the locker room before the season opener, the players attempt to convince the NBA he's still alive by propping him up for games, drawing up plays, and rewarding themselves with huge contracts and trades to contenders
  • WHIP: Walks and Hits per Innings Puppy: Homer, the golden retriever with an eye for pitching statistics, proves in the big game that the old-fashioned, no-good sabermetricians have overvalued off-speed pitches in 2-1 situations
  • The Prince Fielder Diaries: An awkward and overweight cleanup hitter on an average team learns that he's the heir to the throne of Batvia
  • The Wrestler 2: Leaving off where the first film ended, Randy "The Ram" wins his match; enjoys a satisfying shower; meets Cassidy, the erotic dancer, in the lobby; and then walks out to the parking lot, where he collapses and dies
  • 4th and 98: Oh jeez, it doesn't look like the Pudgington Beavers are going to get that first down they want so much

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