adBlockCheck

Politics

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.
End Of Section
  • More News

Group Blasts Pork-Barrel Spending

The watchdog group Citizens Against Government Waste has released its latest edition of the "Pig Book," a list of government earmark spending the organization considers egregious. Here are some of the expenditures cited by the report:

Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE), $1,000 to buy every seat in a Lincoln, NE cineplex so he could watch National Treasure: Book Of Secrets in peace

Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA), $6,500 for larger Congressional Softball League hats

Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI), $20: Federal Nutrition Assistance Program for Senators Who Forgot Their Wallets

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT), $10 million to build a one-mile, 20-lane highway outside of Salt Lake City

Sen. George Voinovich (R-OH), $15 million: erection of a Barbasol museum

Rep. Mike Castle (R-DE), $19 million: free-clam program to benefit people who have never eaten clams

Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN), $2.8 million for increased Sen. Amy Klobuchar awareness

Rep. Diane Watson (D-CA), $100 billion to establish a National Aeronautics and Space Administration program

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close