adBlockCheck

Tips

Extreme Storms To Rip Through Godforsaken Midwestern Wasteland

The Onion Weather Center focuses on the Midwest, where a storm system should recede into the distance like any hope of a stable economic future; a tornado bears down on a podunk, backwater hick town; and field reporter Matt Jennings is live from God knows where.

Choosing The Right Dog For You

Once you decide to get a dog, there’s a wide range of adoptable pets to choose from, whether it’s a mutt or purebred. The Onion offers some helpful tips for choosing the dog that’s right for you.

Choosing The Right School For Your Child

With a new school year beginning soon, parents are making decisions about which type of school best fits their child’s needs. The Onion breaks down what each has to offer.

The Onion’s Beach Bag Essentials

Each summer, Americans flock to the coasts to enjoy the sun and waves. Here are the beach bag must-haves you should never head to the shore without.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
End Of Section
  • More News

Guide To Building Your Personal Brand

With the internet becoming more central to people’s personal and professional lives, it’s more important than ever for individuals to build a “personal brand” that markets themselves to the online community. Here are some tips for cultivating a personal brand:

  • Create a professional website to show off the work that has failed to get you hired
  • Build a fan base by loudly inserting yourself in the public sphere
  • Ask yourself what really makes you you. Is it your desperate need for validation? Or your complete lack of shame when it comes to self-promotion?
  • Do everything you can to hide that op-ed you wrote for your college newspaper
  • Sign up for a Google Plus account to experiment with social media strategies before trying them out on users
  • People love raw, unfiltered personalities, so try to meticulously cultivate the impression that you have one of those
  • Get out in front of this whole “sex lair” thing
  • Remember that the internet is a meritocracy where the best, most innovative ideas win, so try to be as physically attractive as possible
  • Patiently build your personal brand brick by brick with engaging posts and thoughtful content that is meaningful to your audience. If that fails, start insulting celebrities on Twitter.



More from this section

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close