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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Halloween Origins

Every Oct. 31, children dress in a variety of popular costumes and go door-to-door collecting candy. Here's where that Halloween tradition, and several others, came from:

  • Haunted Houses are based on Victorian England's "Scare Manors," places where children who didn't mine enough coal were sent as punishment
  • Giving children candy at the door began when early American settlers realized it was a lot easier than talking to kids about the meaning of death
  • Much like people today, pre-Christian pagans would throw toilet parchment all over the tree outside their mean alchemy teacher's house.
  • Jack-o'-lanterns first debuted in 1981 as part of a marketing scheme to promote Monsanto's invention of the pumpkin
  • The song "Monster Mash" borrows its melody from a medieval Gregorian All Saints' Day chant entitled "I Worketh In The Abbey Into The Darkness One Night (O Monster Of Salvation)"
  • Bobbing for apples was originated at a Halloween party by a group of people who were patronizing an armless friend
  • In 1928, Nathaniel Darder of Worcester was the first guy to give out treats in a strategically loosened bathrobe
  • According to modern-day Wiccans, most of today's Halloween traditions are actually blah, blah, blah

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