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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Handicapping The 2008 Belmont Stakes

The last race of the 2008 Triple Crown brings the prospect of the first Triple Crown winner in 30 years. Onion Sports rates at all the top horses:

Big Brown, 2/7: Look for Big Brown to win the Triple Crown and unite a divided nation behind his tenacity, athleticism, and grace; or do none of that by losing

Casino Drive, 9/2: Longtime horseplayers say this moderate underdog is the smart bet, but that's exactly the kind of thing those rumpled, worn-out romantics like to spout; just go listen to Tom Waits for a while if you don't know what we mean

Denis Of Cork, 12/1: The racing circuit's worst-kept secret is that Denis Of Cork has been going easy in his last few races to hide the fact that he is actually a rebodied 1985 Camaro Z-28

Tale Of Ekati, 20/1: Great-grandsire was Mr. Prospector; need we say more?

Behindatthebar, 25/1: Raised by the fly-by-night Padua Stables, bred by Dr. Frank Justice and Meadow Oaks Farm LLC, who can't breed for shit, and trained by Todd Pletcher, the worst trainer of all time, Behindatthebar is a born loser and is bound to place, at best

Anak Nakal, 50/1: Facing an uphill climb as jockey Rafael Bejarano will be weighing in at a disgusting 110 pounds

Macho Again, 50/1: Quick, agile, and eager, but may not have recovered the sheer power he had when he raced under the moniker of "Macho In The First Place"

More from this section

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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