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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Hangover Cures

The holidays are a traditional time for overindulgence in alcohol. Here are some of the more common hangover cures:

  • Take a shower; it will feel pretty good, and when you throw up in there, you have less cleaning to do
  • Side two of Billy Joel's The Nylon Curtain
  • Upon waking up, text "ughhhhhh" to anyone you saw the night before
  • Smoke every salvageable cigarette dangling from ashtray
  • Percocet, fresh-squeezed orange juice, The Wire
  • Smash some raw eggs on the ground. It will not help your hangover, but it's fun, and the most important thing in life is fun
  • Beat self up over missed chances, lost opportunities, broken promises; eat more pie
  • Inject electrolyte solution directly into each cell that hurts

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