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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Harvard Places Lectures Online

Harvard is the latest university to offer lectures for free through Apple's iTunes store. Here are some of the topics they have made available:

  • The Role Of The Harpsichord In Modern Parlors
  • Writing Comedy The Hollywood Way
  • Areas Of Research In Neuroscience: Data You Can Help Us Log
  • The Easiest Way To Spend $34,000 Of Your Parents' Money
  • Business Basics 2.0: Unwiring Your Empathy
  • Suhvivin' In The Squayh: Deciphering The "R"-Less Language Of The Natives
  • Conversational Latin And Its Applications In Contemporary Secret Society Communications
  • Tips For Today's Natty Chap: The Art Of Draping One's Sweater Jauntily About The Nape

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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