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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.

Grandma Looking Like Absolute Shit Lately

VERO BEACH, FL—Unable to ignore the 86-year-old’s dramatic physical decline since they last saw her, sources within the Delahunt family reported Monday that their grandmother Shirley is looking like absolute shit lately.

A Basic Guide To Dream Interpretation

Dreaming is a universal human experience, and many similar themes arise in people’s dreams the world over. The Onion provides some context for interpreting these common dreams:
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Harvard Places Lectures Online

Harvard is the latest university to offer lectures for free through Apple's iTunes store. Here are some of the topics they have made available:

  • The Role Of The Harpsichord In Modern Parlors
  • Writing Comedy The Hollywood Way
  • Areas Of Research In Neuroscience: Data You Can Help Us Log
  • The Easiest Way To Spend $34,000 Of Your Parents' Money
  • Business Basics 2.0: Unwiring Your Empathy
  • Suhvivin' In The Squayh: Deciphering The "R"-Less Language Of The Natives
  • Conversational Latin And Its Applications In Contemporary Secret Society Communications
  • Tips For Today's Natty Chap: The Art Of Draping One's Sweater Jauntily About The Nape

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