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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Highlights From David Beckham’s Career

Onion Sports examines notable moments from the soccer player’s illustrious 21-year career.

  • 1993: Signs first professional contract at Old Trafford, with a guaranteed signing bonus of 3 million soccer balls
  • 1994: Plays season on loan from Manchester United with the Hiawatha, IA Youth Soccer League Boys U12 Wildcats
  • 1997: Caps off Premier League–winning season that included memorable victories against Manchester United foes Coventry City, Southampton, Sheffield Wednesday, Percy of the Hills, Friendly Arthur, Burbridge Tickles, and Nottingham Forest
  • 1998: Infamously receives a red card during the World Cup after kicking out at Argentina’s Diego Simeone, an incident that would leave the South American with incredibly serious fake injuries
  • 1999: Begins dating Spice Girl Victoria “Posh Spice” Adams, leading to the British tabloids nicknaming the couple “Posh Spice and David Beckham”
  • 2005: Following Real Madrid’s victory over Barcelona, Beckham’s mother forgets to pick up her son, leaving him to wait in the parking lot for like two hours
  • 2007: Makes hotly anticipated MLS debut before crowd of 30 screaming Galaxy fans
  • 2010: Tears Achilles tendon, even though he was just playing soccer
  • 2011: Wins an MLS cup with the LA Galaxy, completing the Triple Who-Gives-A-Shit Crown

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