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Extreme Storms To Rip Through Godforsaken Midwestern Wasteland

The Onion Weather Center focuses on the Midwest, where a storm system should recede into the distance like any hope of a stable economic future; a tornado bears down on a podunk, backwater hick town; and field reporter Matt Jennings is live from God knows where.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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Highlights From Last Night’s Grammys

The 56th annual Grammy Awards were held last night in Los Angeles and featured dozens of live performances and memorable musical collaborations. Here are some of the highlights from the biggest night in music:

  • Katy Perry stuns on red carpet with sizzling display of bipedal movement
  • Host LL Cool J reviews list of emergency exits and stairwells as per fire department regulations
  • Daft Punk spends the whole night avoiding an electrical outlet they briefly dated in 2009
  • Queen Latifah muttering “Burn in Hell, sodomites” is nearly picked up by microphone
  • Paul McCartney gets a chance to talk shop with Ryan Lewis
  • Mrs. Ostrovsky honored for best piano teacher
  • Once again, multiple men leaning into the same microphone sweep the Rock Album, Rock Performance, and Metal Performance categories
  • Video feed cuts to nonplussed Robert Christgau following every award announcement
  • Event organizers hold a touching “In Memoriam” segment for the music industry

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