Highlights From Sunday Night’s Return Of ‘Breaking Bad’

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Vol 49 Issue 33

Government Finally Admits Existence Of Area 51

In declassified CIA documents, the government officially acknowledged for the first time ever the existence of Area 51, saying that the top-secret location in the Nevada desert was created as a testing site for the U-2 spy plane in the 1950s.

Dog Unaware It Isn't Starving

Scientists finally pronounce the human genome, a new report finds that the Washington Redskins’ name is only offensive if you think about what it means, and a bigoted asshole makes the best barbecue.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Comedy

Highlights From Sunday Night’s Return Of ‘Breaking Bad’

AMC’s critically acclaimed hit Breaking Bad premiered the first of its final eight installments last night after nearly 11 months off the air. Here are the most memorable moments from the highly anticipated episode:

  • Walt Jr. formally changes his name to Flynn
  • Bryan Cranston replaced halfway through opening episode with Mark Hamill
  • Given the opportunity to once again return to active duty, air traffic controller Donald Margolis promptly crashes a 747 into the local high school
  • Skyler realizes she must live with her choices after hastily deciding to switch to a new supplier of clear coat protectant at the car wash
  • Family, friends throw quinceañera for Tuco’s niece
  • Walt and Jesse decide to stop cooking meth, resume cooking meth, stop cooking meth, resume cooking meth
  • In hopes of making a little extra scratch, Walt starts growing a few pot plants in his closet
  • Jake Pinkman inducted into National Junior Honor Society
  • In a clear nod to the show’s chemistry themes, all of the names in the credits contain highlighted symbols from the periodic table of elements
  • Lively chemotherapy montage
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