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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Highlights From SXSW Interactive

The interactive portion of the South by Southwest festival concluded yesterday in Austin, TX. Here is a look back at the top moments from this year’s event:

  • Enterprising attendees save time by pronouncing festival’s name as Six-Saw
  • Handshake that will someday lead to two Chapter 11 bankruptcies occurs
  • Everyone with real job stays home
  • 250,000th time someone mentions they could totally see themselves living in Austin for a few years at least
  • Happy hour where Pete from tech talked to some guy who works at Facebook
  • Everyone unknowingly networks with exact same people from last year’s festival
  • Organizers print up a few hundred more “Bryce” nametags
  • The festival once again honors veterans in its field when 22-year-old Android app developer Josh Nathe is given the SXSW Lifetime Achievement Award
  • Seventy tons of Fuze Beverage promotional iPhone cases trucked to Austin-area landfill
  • The game—the whole game, all of it—completely changed. The future is here. The future is now.

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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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