adBlockCheck

Highlights Of Obama’s Speech To The United Nations

Top Headlines

Politics

Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Highlights Of Obama’s Speech To The United Nations

President Barack Obama spoke in front of the United Nations General Assembly on Tuesday. Here are some prominent moments from the president’s address:

  • Begins speech by saying, “It’d be one heck of a relief if the United States didn’t have to be such close allies with Israel. Hi, I’m Barack Obama.”
  • Keeps calling it “Invited Nations”
  • Insists that America is exceptional, but only because it’s an objectively better and more important country than others
  • Gently ribs Sudanese delegate Daffa-Allah Elhag Ali Osman about ongoing genocide
  • Addresses General Assembly in flawless English
  • Takes listeners on a journey of the mind to exotic faraway land of the Middle East
  • Quickly runs through recent White House staff promotions
  • Long overdue admission that the United States overthrew Iran’s former regime, killed Ché Guevara, and staged September 11
  • Announces raffle winners
  • Keeps referring to U.S. in past tense
  • Just kind of trails off at end

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close