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Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Highlights Of President Obama's Inauguration

Barack Obama was sworn in for a second term as president of the United States Monday, amid a day of pomp, parades, and performances in Washington, D.C. Here are some of the highlights of the daylong festivities:

  • 12:00 a.m.–11:59 p.m.: Secret Service freaking out
  • 8:42 a.m.: First of many decisions by an onlooker to just go, right here, rather than lose his spot
  • 9:58 a.m.: Half-shaved Obama tears down White House stairs after having slept through alarm
  • 10:21 a.m.: Mitt Romney lets out a momentary sigh in between pulling up his first and second pant leg
  • 11:15 a.m.: Vice President Biden sworn in on 1991 Playboy featuring the Barbi Twins
  • 12:30 p.m.: Tank filled to brim with stew is rolled out for all in attendance
  • 1:30 p.m.: Presidential dog, Bo, barks national anthem
  • 2:11 p.m.: Obama jumps on trampoline, dunks Bible through hoop with red, white, and blue net
  • 5:18 p.m.: Vice President Biden’s blackout begins

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