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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Highlights Of The 2010 Iditarod

Alaska's Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race is a 1,161-mile spectacle of human courage and canine fortitude, and the 2010 race was an exceptional example.

  • Scott White finishes 10 days later than the other competitors after stopping the sled every two minutes to pick up all the dog shit
  • Kirk Barnum's sled veers 8,000 miles off course when his dogs pursue what turns out to be a leaf blown by the wind
  • Musher John Baker turns back after the first 100 yards, swearing he thought the Iditarod was more of a sprint
  • One week after the main event, more than 1,000 three-legged dogs set off on the first ever Paraditarod
  • After stopping at a checkpoint the first day, Linwood Fielder and his dogs stare blankly at each other in burgeoning silence as it dawns on them they have absolutely nothing in common
  • The struggling team of Henrietta's Hope, Tall Drink o' Water, Foreshortened, Fiddler's Green, Hollyhock, Plenipotentiary, Banknote, and musher Wee Scotty Donahugh once again prove that this is no race for thoroughbred horses
  • Immediately upon completion of the Iditarod, all dogs are rounded up and tossed into the Mushdog Shredder

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