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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Highlights of the Consumer Electronics Show

The 2010 Consumer Electronics Show took place last week in Las Vegas. Here are some of the must-have gadgets rolled out by the big manufacturers:

  • Panasonic—Alarm Fax 2000: Never be late again with the help of this machine, which sends you a fax with a rousing wake-up message of your choosing
  • Texas Instruments—TI-101 Graphing Bassoon: This powerful, user-friendly calculator-meets-sonorous-woodwind is perfect for the multitasking high school student
  • Amazon—Kindle LE: For users nostalgic for paper, this e-book reader signals a logging crew to cut down 10 trees for every book purchased with the device
  • iTunes—"Taylor Swift Breathes": Using nanotechnology, this new MP3 enables you to feel Taylor Swift's hot breath on your neck as she sings
  • Radioshack—Big Sack of Adapters: The right one is probably in there somewhere
  • Carl's Jr.—Stent Burger: This new menu item contains a small "smart stent" that implants itself in the heart and opens blocked arteries following consumption of the burger
  • Bose—Noise-Postponing Headphones: Using Bose's patented SoundDelay technology, these headphones store ambient distractions for up to six hours before unleashing them all at once against the wearer's eardrums.
  • Ford Motor Company—The Ford Fiesta: This new tech- heavy update to the longtime model comes with the Sync system, which allows drivers to customize their dash display, synchronize their iPhone, update their social networking site, and have their corpse embalmed when they hit a tree while taking advantage of the car's functionality.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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