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Highlights Of UFC 111

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Highlights Of UFC 111

  • After winning by disqualification thanks to Greg Soto's illegal upkick, Matt Riddle celebrates by rolling his eyes back into his head and yammering gibberish
  • Mark Bocek is disqualified for a time delay when he is unable to choose between Disturbed and Staind for his entrance music
  • Fan in the crowd is given a random belt the UFC had just lying around after he beats the shit out of some other guy
  • Nate Diaz engages in muay Thai for a record eight seconds before just falling on the guy and punching the shit out of him as per usual
  • Knockout of the Night winner Shane Carwin stares at the $65,000 check in his hands, then at the prone, broken body of Frank Mir, and wonders if its all worth it
  • Dan Hardy summons the indefatigable power of his Britishness to lose the main event in a unanimous decision
  • Matthew Riddle signs a girl's chest using a fragment of his shattered tibia as a quill
  • In a new UFC record, only five eyeballs go unclaimed

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