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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Highly Anticipated Launches At SXSW Interactive

Every year at South by Southwest, companies roll out their latest interactive media. Here's what to look for this year:

  • YouTube: All-new site design features a small clock in the upper left corner that keeps track of the cumulative amount of your life you've wasted
  • Wikimedia: New WikiBible will allow anyone to add to, or edit, this open-source holy book
  • The Social Network: Launch of actor Jesse Eisenberg's controversial SocialNetwork social networking site
  • Video Professor: New CD-ROM to help you get started on Chatroulette
  • eHarmony: In addition to showing people their most compatible matches, the online dating site will now display each member's last-resort match
  • Apple: New version of iTunes will take the songs you haven't listened to in a while and sell them to someone else
  • MySpace: Six awesome new background layouts!
  • Yakagami: Someone's trying to make that virtual pet thing happen again
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