Hillary Grabs 'Hillary '08' Sign From Aide, Snaps It Over Knee

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Vol 44 Issue 23

Clinton Suspends Campaign

While keeping her delegates, Hillary Clinton has suspended her campaign to be the Democratic nominee, leaving Barack Obama the party's presumptive...

Terrible Idea Committed To Paper

SECAUCUS, NJ—Sales supervisor Justin Henry stopped in the middle of a busy sidewalk Monday, obstructing the paths of 15 pedestrians as he...

Ed McMahon May Lose House

After falling behind in payments, former Tonight Show sidekick Ed McMahon is in danger of losing his $6.25 million home. What do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

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