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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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History Of The Catholic Church’s Views On Homosexuality

Marking what could be a significant change in the Catholic Church’s official stance on homosexuality, Pope Francis said Sunday, “If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?” Here are some notable ways the Church’s views on homosexuality have evolved over the years:

  • Creation: God issues strict command for all of mankind to have irrational, destructive hatred for one another
  • 33-2013: A few gay popes, presumably
  • 761: The Catholic Church declares the one-time ‘Year of You,’ in which it encourages the world’s Catholics to just smile, be themselves, and overall have a blast, regardless of whom they love
  • 1349: Mass population loss due to the Black Death forces the Church to temporarily allow gay priests, leper priests, boy priests, and horse priests
  • 1825: Group of men who abstain from female contact in favor of spending their entire lives in the intimate company of other men once again insist that other people not do that
  • 1870: Vatican affirms the doctrine of papal infallibility, which states that every pope is free to basically say or do whatever they want based on the current political climate
  • 1924: Pope Pius XI famously declares that he would rather see the Church gradually lose influence and become virtually irrelevant in the lives of the world’s Catholics than have it accept homosexuality
  • 1986: Pope John Paul II says he thinks homosexuality is a mortal sin; he’ll be a saint soon
  • 2005: Archbishop Ennio Antonelli sees Pope Benedict XVI making out with some guy at a party and decides to just keep it to himself
  • 2248: The largely marginalized and unpopular Catholic Church accepts that homosexuality is not a sin and gay and straight people alike are all God’s creations
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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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