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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
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History Of The Walt Disney Company

This month marks the 90th anniversary of The Walt Disney Company. Here are some of the most notable moments in the media conglomerate’s history:

  • 1928: Steamboat Willie marks the first appearance of Disney’s iconic character Willie the Steamboat Operator
  • 1931: Disney chemists synthesize and patent childlike wonder
  • 1936: Company records first successful mergers, purchasing rivals Sunbonnet Animation Studio and Reichsministerium für Volksaufklärung und Propaganda
  • 1940: Animators wisely remove realistic corkscrew penis from Donald Duck
  • 1953: Under pressure from the Anti-Defamation League, Disney changes its character’s name from Scrooge Duckstein to Scrooge McDuck
  • 1966: Walt Disney dies after crashing his Ferrari
  • 1997: Boogie Nights earns Disney over $26 million at the box office
  • 2005: Walt Disney World celebrates its first day without a visitor death

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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

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