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Politics

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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How Congress Plans To Boost Its Approval Rating

Following the government shutdown and the debt ceiling crisis, polling has showed that a record 85 percent of Americans disapprove of Congress. Here’s how the nation’s lawmakers are attempting to boost their dismal approval ratings:

  • Addressing all constituents as “master”
  • Free autographs for entire month of December
  • Trying even harder to defund Affordable Care Act
  • Touring the country performing live legislation sets based on audience suggestions
  • Each visitor to House or Senate gallery allowed to dump one 32-ounce soda onto congressman of their choice
  • Inviting legendary guitarist G.E. Smith to sit in on congressional sessions
  • Debuting smiling, lovable plush Bill-y the Legislator Alligator mascot who dances around the congressional chambers at all times
  • Passing even just one bill
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