Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
End Of Section
  • More News

How Corporations Avoid Paying Taxes

With Monday marking the income tax filing deadline in the U.S., there has been renewed interest in how some of the nation’s top corporations manage to pay just a small fraction of their earnings in taxes, sometimes owing nothing at all to the government. Here are some leading corporations’ tricks for minimizing their tax bills:

  • McDonald’s: Over 500 locations in major metropolitan areas classified as churches
  • Fisher-Price: Only employing war veterans
  • ExxonMobil: Investing in green technology by the hundreds of dollars
  • Nabisco: Claimed this year’s batch of Wheat Thins didn’t turn out well and lost the company millions, even though everyone knows this year’s batch was excellent
  • Hostess Brands: Chapter 11 bankruptcy
  • Kraft Foods: Underreporting net profits by claiming cost of producing each slice of cheese is $600,000
  • NBC: Consistently making and airing terrible programming that hasn’t earned company a single dollar in profit since 2003
  • The Boeing Company: Using 1040EZ form

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.