How Oscar Winners Are Selected

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‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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How Oscar Winners Are Selected

Members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have until Tuesday, Feb. 25 to cast their Oscar ballots. Here is the process by which Academy members will select this year’s winners:

  • The Academy contacts each nominee to make sure they own something nice to wear to the ceremony
  • The genitalia of each Oscar-nominated actor and actress is closely inspected by each member to ensure that they are nominated in the correct category
  • A computer creates five random names to put on the ballot under Best Sound Editing
  • The merits of every Best Picture nominee are evaluated separately against River Wild, Curtis Hanson’s thrilling and heartfelt 1994 action-adventure drama long held as the industry standard for excellence in filmmaking
  • To curb the lengthy Oscar campaign season, Best Supporting Actor nominees are limited to two debates
  • Academy members take a long, soul-searching walk in the middle of the night pondering what it really means to have the “best” original song
  • The Oscar for Best Actor is computed using the following algorithm: [(KPI^2)/(LG*FF*PRP)]^[sqrt(BGT/5Qr)]
  • Before casting their ballots, Academy members wrestle with the notion that all art is subjective and that their fetishization of awarding perverts the very art form they mean to celebrate
  • The Academy enjoys a hearty laugh over how much everyone cares about this shit


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