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Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
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How People Around The World Celebrate Christmas

From fashioning straw yule goats in Scandinavia to the Feast of the Seven Fishes in southern Italy, Christmas is celebrated in a variety of ways across the globe. Here is a closer look at some notable Christmas traditions around the world:

  • United States: Citizens gather around television sets all across the country for the annual viewing of Yogi Bear’s All-Star Comedy Christmas Caper
  • China: Nation comes together to cover the entire Great Wall in wrapping paper
  • Bulgaria: Families decorate their homes in traditional Christmas colors of gray, light gray, and dark gray
  • Liechtenstein: Liechtenstein rings in the holiday season exactly how it’s meant to be done: the Liechtensteinian way!
  • Italy: Children in Italy believe Santa Claus is a hag called La Befana who rides around on a broomstick giving out gifts. Pretty fucking stupid, right?
  • Japan: Families gather together to watch their favorite holiday-themed television program, Hinshi No Kurisumasu Shōfu No Odori, in which nude males compete to break each other’s noses while standing on rapidly melting ice
  • Dan’s House: Dan’s Jewish, so he doesn’t celebrate Christmas. But that’s okay.
  • Gliese 623b: Christmas on this distant red dwarf star tends to be a subdued affair, with the celestial body producing a standard quantity of helium and emitting luminosity much as it has for the last trillion years
  • Santa’s Workshop: Ironically enough, this Tennessee strip club is closed on Christmas day

More from this section

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

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