How Recycling Works

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Pros And Cons Of Screen Time For Kids

As technology becomes more of a staple in everyday family life, parents are making choices about how much screen time to allow their children—and asking questions about how computers, phones, and TVs might help or hinder a child’s development.

Apple Releases Brief, Fleeting Moment Of Excitement

CUPERTINO, CA—Ending weeks of anticipation and intense speculation, tech giant Apple unveiled a short and fleeting moment of excitement to the general public Tuesday during a media event at its corporate headquarters.

Modernized Space Camp Allows Kids To Simulate Frustration Over Lack Of Funding

HUNTSVILLE, AL—Aiming to provide attendees with an authentic glimpse into the nation’s space program, representatives for the U.S. Space & Rocket Center announced Thursday that its newly updated Space Camp will allow children to simulate the anger and mounting frustration experienced by NASA personnel over a continual lack of funding.

Tips For Troubleshooting Your Computer

Even the most experienced user can run into error messages, software crashes, hardware malfunctions, and other issues with their computer. Here are some tips for keeping your machine running smoothly

Features Of Google Glass

Eight thousand contest winners were selected by Google last week to test out the company’s new internet-connected mobile device known as Google Glass, which is worn like a pair of eyeglasses.

New Device Desirable, Old Device Undesirable

SEATTLE—"The new device is an improvement over the old device, making it more attractive for purchase by all Americans," said Thomas Wakefield, a spokesperson for the large conglomerate that manufactures the new device. "The old device is no longer sufficient. Consumers should no longer have any use or longing for the old device."
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How Recycling Works

With humans consuming an increasing amount of resources, the process of recycling has become more important than ever for protecting the planet. Here’s a breakdown of the process by which used products are converted into new materials:

  • Step 1: Sanitation employees come to collect the contents of recycling bins every Thursday—or is it Mondays? Whatever, just put it out there; somebody will deal with it
  • Step 2: Some fucking stray dog or something gets into your recycling bin and makes a huge mess
  • Step 3: Families gather around their recyclables to say goodbye
  • Step 4: Material is transported to the sanitation plant by a fleet of massive gas-guzzling trucks
  • Step 5: After trucks arrive at the collection station, officials will personally sign off for each recyclable to verify they have arrived safely
  • Step 6: More clattering than you can possibly imagine
  • Step 7: Perfectly good plastic containers are fished out of bins, lightly rinsed, and shipped back to delis to be refilled with food
  • Step 8: All soup cans are sent to a separate facility to be repurposed as pencil holders or stacked and bound to make stilts
  • Step 9: Material cycles clockwise through three stations in accordance with international recycling symbol
  • Step 10: Dow Chemical Co. dumps 80,000 pounds of uranium and vanadium into toxic disposal sites, offsetting the previous day’s efforts by several orders of magnitude
  • Step 11: Recycling plant employees offer strained smiles while a fifth-grade class takes a field trip
  • Step 12: Percentage of items too depressingly small to think about recycled into new materials
  • Step 13: A post-consumer sticky note is born!
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