adBlockCheck

How To Talk To Your Child About Racism

Top Headlines

After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

How To Adopt A Child

Adoption is a beautiful way to provide a loving home for a child, though it is a logistically complex process that might take months or even years to complete. Here are the steps involved in adopting a child:

The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting

Conductor Fatigue Blamed In Massive Model Train Crash

BLOOMINGTON, IN—After surveying the dozen railcars and cargo of Lincoln Logs strewn haphazardly across the grass mat, investigators concluded Friday that a massive model train derailment was the result of conductor fatigue.

The Pros And Cons Of Co-Sleeping

The act of co-sleeping, where babies and toddlers share a “family bed” with their parents, is a rising trend in the United States, though the practice is contested by those who doubt its purported benefits. Here are the pros and cons of co-sleeping with your child
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

How To Talk To Your Child About Racism

Here are The Onion’s tips for discussing the difficult topic of racism with your child.

  • If you’re having trouble finding the right entry point to the topic, wait a couple hours for some new national tragedy to spur the discussion.
  • Be sure to provide your child with the full historical context surrounding racism, beginning with American slavery and ending with the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
  • They’ll value your honesty. Both “I don’t know” and “Christ, I said I don’t know, Taylor!” are perfectly valid answers to their questions.
  • Invite a Chinese stranger to your home and have your children sit next to them on the couch until they feel at ease. Repeat for all other races.
  • Remind kids it’s okay to notice ethnicity as long as you avoid talking about it until you get in the car.
  • Don’t forget to unconsciously impart all of your racial biases during the discussion.
  • Go ahead and slip in some admonitions in favor of safe sex and responsible driving if the opportunity arises.
  • If your child is upset or uncomfortable, rest assured that you’ve conveyed the situation to them fully and accurately.


After Birth Video

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close