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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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How To Become An Internet Music Sensation

More and more, bands are recording, releasing, and promoting their music at home using their own computers. Here are some ways a burgeoning musician can make a splash on the Internet:

  • Take advice from your video's helpful YouTube comments section
  • Use GarageBand or another sound-editing application to make your voice sound hilariously deep. People love to laugh!
  • Justin Bieber is only 17; he probably has time to check out your video if you tweet at him
  • Earn your credentials as an online hard rocker by getting wasted at your computer and trashing a hotel's comments page
  • Marrying into Coldplay has long been an acceptable way to break into music
  • These days, interacting with your fans is paramount—consider naming all the tracks on your new album after your 12 YouTube subscribers
  • Is everyone you know a fan of your band on Facebook, Myspace, Tumblr, Twitter, and Blogger? If they aren't, spend as much time as possible building that following and rest assured, coming up with songs with an actual chorus will follow
  • Be an innovator, whatever the fuck that means

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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