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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Hubris In Sports

  • 1886: Always needing to be first, Ty Cobb pushes aside the baby that was supposed to come of his mother's vagina
  • 1919: Man o' War doesn't start running until 1:50 into the race
  • 1920: Cleveland shortstop Ray Chapman leans over the plate as though he were begging to be beaned in the head and killed on the ball field
  • 1997: Long thought of as an over-the-top disciplinarian, P.J. Carlesimo gets right in Latrell Sprewell's face and yells, "There is no way in the world that you would strangle me right now"
  • 1997: Prior to Game 5 of the NBA Finals against the Utah Jazz, Michael Jordan injects the flu into his body
  • 2003: With Game 7 of the ALCS tied in the 11th inning, Red Sox pitcher Tim Wakefield decides to finish off the unknown Aaron Boone with one of his signature floaters
  • 2008: Rather than punting like he should, Lions coach Rod Marinelli repeatedly goes for it on first down
  • 2009: Bill Simmons publishes 750-page book about basketball; the word "basketball" appears only 37 times in the text, whereas "Bill Simmons" appears 5,723 times

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