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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Illinois Corruption Timeline

The controversy surrounding Illinois senator Roland Burris is only the latest chapter in a long history of political corruption in the Land of Lincoln. Here is a partial timeline of scandals that have plagued the state.

1865: Birthplace of Abraham Lincoln moved from its original location in Kentucky

1871: The Great Chicago Fire spreads quickly after every firehouse in the city is discovered to be either empty or manned by incompetent, low-paid chimpanzees

1913–1917: Renowned for his moral rectitude, Gov. Edward "Upstanding Ed" Dunne embezzles just $55,000 while in office

1956: Chicago mayor Richard J. Daley shifts the proposed interstate route to separate his neighborhood from the adjoining black neighborhood, but has it jog slightly to the left to keep a favorite pie restaurant on his side

1983: Chicago City Council member Bernard Stone stirs up opposition to African-American mayor Harold Washington in a rousing speech beginning with the famous words, "In my day..."

1995: U.S. Rep. Dan Rostenkowski starts practice of going up to random people, saying "Nice watch," and hanging around for a while

2003: After being dared by a group of visiting mayors, a drunken Mayor Richard M. Daley orders downtown Chicago airport Meigs Field torn up in the dead of night, just to prove he can

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